Out of Office

Navigating the "I'm Fine," Not So Fine, and Everything In-Between After a Layoff

So, I’m pretty sure no one had “get laid off” on their New Year’s vision board. Even if things had been tense for a couple of months, you thought your chances were good. You took the fact that “I’m Still Standing” came on just as you pulled into work as an omen. No matter how your experience unfolded, here you are. And you’re making it through but honestly, the not-working part is hard work too. In between the notifications for job board search results, there’s something happening inside you, too. The person you are today is not the same person who started this year. And maybe, just maybe, that is the most normal part of all of this. 

Hi! My Name Is...

For many adults, a career isn’t just a way to make a living, it’s a way to make sense of ourselves. Our jobs help us understand the contribution that we make to the greater good.  Our resume, or these days, the "Experience" section of our LinkedIn page, doesn't just list where we've worked, it tells the story of our growth and development as a professional.  Over time, our job shapes our routines, our confidence, our relationships, and even how we introduce ourselves: “I’m a designer,” “I’m an engineer,” “I’m a teacher.” So when a layoff hits, it doesn’t just disrupt your income, it disrupts your identity. You might feel uncertain, or even invisible. The feelings that come with being suddenly thrust into transition aren’t weakness; they’re a human response to loss - loss of routine, loss of community, and loss of the identity you’ve known for some time.

Psychologist James Marcia described identity as more than a label or a role, rather as a self-structure that we build from the inside out. Identity is the evolving organization of our motivations, talents, beliefs, and life experiences that helps us understand who we are and how we fit in the world. When this inner structure feels strong, we have a clearer sense of what makes us unique, where we belong, and how to navigate our strengths and limitations. When it’s shaky or underdeveloped, we tend to feel lost and look outside ourselves for direction or validation. Marcia's early work focused on identity as the way adolescents find themselves, but his later works acknowledge it fits adulthood as well, especially in transitional times. 

A Crisis And...Go!

Trust the Process

What’s everyone’s favorite thing to tell you when you’re in crisis? “You’ll come out stronger and better.”  You may smile politely and graciously accept the well wishes, but inside there’s that voice saying, "Um, what if I was okay with the way I already was? I liked my job, my paycheck, and the podcast I listened to on my morning commute - and now that is gone."  Still, there’s a reason people say it, even if it feels like the equivalent of telling someone to relax while your airplane just dropped twenty feet in turbulence.  The truth is, identity work as an adult is rarely chosen and almost never convenient. But those moments can serve as a kind of passport, an unexpected invitation to explore what else might be possible.

So, the other fun thing about Marcia’s identity statuses is that they’re driven by the interplay between exploration and commitment. Exploration, both inward and outward, helps us better understand ourselves, our environment, and the options that exist. There’s no map, and that’s exactly the point. You’re learning who you are and who you could become. It’s exciting and terrifying. This process also requires commitment, and you got It, some semblance of direction. At some point, we have to make a decision and move forward, even if it’s imperfect. Marcia proposed four identity statuses based on the degree to which we explore and commit, with psychological well-being emerging from a balance between the two.

FUNemployment: Figuring It Out, One Coffee (or Beer) at a Time

So, what do you do with all this talk about exploration and commitment? You live it. The messy middle - the questions, the what-ifs, the late-night job board scrolls - that is identity in motion. You’re not stuck, you’re sorting. Let’s go ahead and call it FUNemployment, or:

• Figuring it out

• Unlearning what no longer fits

• Navigating what’s next

Wherever you are today, you’re in the right place. The following aren’t fixes, because we already agreed there are none. Rather, here are a couple things to help you stay steady while you sort things out.

1. Give yourself grace. You don’t have to “bounce back” right away - that only happens in movies anyway (or for serial killers). You have a right to feel exactly how you feel. Sometimes the best next step is to rest, reflect, and let clarity emerge instead of forcing it.

2. Overrule rumination. You can’t rationalize your way out of every feeling. At some point, reflection turns into replay, and replay turns into rumination. Notice when your thoughts start circling the same track and that’s your cue to step off. The goal isn’t to erase what happened, but to stop letting it audition for a comeback. And it's ok if you don't want to look back now too - you're not going that way! 

3. Revisit what you value. Do ask yourself what mattered most in your previous work, and what you’d like to carry forward. Values, not job titles, are the foundation of identity.

4. Curiosity instead of certainty. Treat this as a research phase about your own life. This is not how you envisioned things would go but it is an opportunity nonetheless. What feels energizing or meaningful are clues to your next direction.

5. Redefine success. While we're making up new words that fit our situation, like FUNemployment, we might as well revisit our definition of success. Progress might not look like a promotion right now. Success, might be uncovering a new skill you didn't know you already had or finding a short-term solution that works for now. 

6. Find your people. You have lost part of your community. Even if you stay close with colleagues, it is different. Especially now,  people who have traveled similar journeys are out there.  Surround yourself with mentors who see your strengths and peers who remind you you’re not alone.

7. See the potential of possibiities. Sometimes you need to find a position quickly, even if it’s not your dream job. Being ok with where you land for right now is just as important for identity formation. This stability, even if temporary, gives you the space and security to continue exploring. 

Out of Office, Not Out Of Order

So maybe this isn’t the chapter you planned, but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong one. You're already becoming who you are, right here, in this moment of your life. Marcia reminded us that identity evolves across a lifetime. Each disruption, each reorganization, each new role adds another layer to who we are. The layoff may have paused one part of your life, and the in-between, whew is all you can say sometimes. But, it’s also where identity takes shape, and grows stronger through each change. You may be out of office, but you’re not out of order. If nothing else, I see you and I’m right here with you. We’re still here, still standing, still figuring it out, one coffee (or beer) at a time.